Most managers think they’re doing remote leadership right; but odds are, you’re making this mistake.
Almost 5 years since the world moved to remote/hybrid work set up, and I still see many leaders stuck in the office mentality, trying to manage remote teams like they’re sitting in the cubicle next door. And that, my friends, is a recipe for disaster.
Being in HR, I’ve seen it numerous times — leaders, having good intentions, often blindsided by the challenges of leading remote teams. For many, it is like texting while driving, with no attention to the blind spot. You’re trying to balance productivity, maintain morale, and keep the wheels turning — all without the benefits of a casual hallway conversations or the occasional team lunch.
That one colossal mistake that silently chips away at their team’s success..
The Blindspot: Managing Tasks, not Relationships
You see, the one mistake I see majority of the leaders making is this: they neglect the human connection. In the office, casual conversations across the desk, around the coffee machine, impromptu team lunches naturally build camaraderie and trust. But in the remote world, those organic interactions disappear.
Leaders, in their quest for productivity, often default to tools and technology — endless Teams/Slack messages, back-to-back video calls, and performance tracking dashboards. They fall into the trap of hyper-focusing on deliverables. But remote teams don’t crumble because of missed deadlines; they falter when relationships within the team erode. When you focus solely on tasks, you’re managing machines, not humans.
And last time I checked, folks were still eating food and not plugging themselves in a charging station.
Let me give you an example.
The Tale of Two Teams
Team A: The Burnout Brigade
Meet Ee Lin, a brilliant project manager leading a team of six developers. Ee Lin is laser-focused on the team’s sprint goals. Every morning, she runs a tight stand-up call: “What did you do yesterday? What are you doing today? Any blockers?” Boom, done in 15 minutes. She thinks she’s nailing it — tasks are being completed, and deadlines are being met.
But something’s brewing under the surface. Franklyn, one of the developers, feels isolated. Frank hasn’t had a meaningful 1×1 conversation with Ee Lin in weeks. Lisa, another team member, is struggling with imposter syndrome but she doesn’t feel comfortable bringing it up in a public forum. Over time, the team starts disengaging. Productivity dips, turnover creeps up, and Ee Lin is left scratching her head, wondering what went wrong.
Team B: The Connection Crew
Now, meet Amadeus. He’s leading a remote team of nine. He knows the work is important, but he also understands that the glue holding his team together is trust and connection. Every week, he carves out 15 minutes with each team member for a casual check-in. These aren’t performance reviews; they’re heart-to-heart conversations. He’ll ask, “How are you really doing today?” or “Is there anything I can do to make your job easier?”
Amadeus also schedules monthly virtual coffee chats for the whole team. No agenda — just an opportunity to share stories, laugh, and bond. The result? His team not only hits their targets but also thrives. They’re engaged, loyal, and happy to go the extra mile when needed.
Why Relationships Matter More Than Ever
In a remote setup, the little things we take for granted in an office like spontaneous conversations, body language, shared lunches, vanishes. If you’re not conscious about building relationships, you’re leaving your team’s success to chance. And let’s be honest, that’s not a gamble you want to take.
Research from sources like Harvard Business Review and Forbes have consistently demonstrated that employees who feel connected to their managers are more likely to be engaged, productive, and loyal. This isn’t just anecdotal evidence; it’s backed by data.
Here is a good read on manager-employee relationship in this article at Inc that you might find interesting.
How to Avoid This Mistake
If you’ve recognized yourself in Ee Lin’s story, don’t worry; you’re not alone. I was there as well, not too long time ago. Here’s how you can pivot from managing tasks to leading relationships:
1. Schedule Regular 1x1s (And don’t miss them)
Those 1x1s are your opportunity to connect, listen, and support your team members as individuals. Use this time to ask open-ended questions like:
- “What’s been challenging for you lately?”
- “What’s something you’re proud of this week?”
Tip: There are times when you may have to jump into some another meeting at the scheduled time of your 1×1, instead of cancelling; reschedule. If not, you might end up missing many of those 1x1s by the time you realise.
2. Foster a Culture of Psychological Safety
Your team should feel safe speaking up about challenges without fear of judgment. Encourage vulnerability by leading with it. Share your own struggles and how you’ve overcome them.
3. Celebrate Wins — Big and Small
Remote work can feel like shouting into the void. Celebrate achievements publicly and often, whether it’s a completed project or someone’s birthday. Recognition goes a long way.
4. Create Opportunities for Connection
Invest time in non-work-related activities. Virtual trivia nights, online games, or even sharing memes on your Teams chat group can do wonders for team bonding.
5. Get Feedback (and Act on It)
Ask your team regularly: “What can I do better as your manager?” Be ready to listen with humility and take action.
Final Thoughts: Leading with Heart
Deadlines come and go, but the impact you have on your team’s well-being will last a lifetime.
Remote leadership isn’t about managing pixels on a screen; it’s about leading people with heart. If you want your team to thrive, you need to move beyond tasks and start investing in relationships.
Just remember: relationships first, tasks second. Everything else will fall into place. Trust me, your team will thank you for it. And you might just be surprised at the results.
And hey, if you’re still texting while driving, stop it; both of us know where it leads.
This article was first published on Medium on 12th January 2025, here https://medium.com/the-people-room/the-1-mistake-90-of-managers-make-when-leading-remote-teams-d856b98dc913
